Defense Against the Dark Arts

I went through my Negotiation Professor's article about lying in negotiations. His point is that we can't stop people from lying in negotiations, and it behooves us all to defend ourselves against it.
Here is a sampling of his defense tactics:

Conduct Thorough Background Research
Network to Choose Your Negotiation Counterpart
Create Rapport
Demand the Use of Objective (third party) standards (eg. Bluebook values for cars)
Establish Long-Term Relationships and Watch for Signs of Deception
Ask Come-Clean Questions at appropriate times

Negotiation Continued

I kid you not, someone in the class discussion said, "Why not just lie? I mean, seriously." This started the professor talking about the interesting subject of lying in negotiation--I should probably read his recent article on the subject. He said it is often a really effective thing to do, and that there is a fine line that you probably shouldn't cross. The official comments in the ABA ethics guidelines make it plain that lawyers will be lying to some extent in negotiations. The nice word for it is puffery.

This reminds me of a class in my first year of law school. The professor was trying to demonstrate the difference between lying and puffery. She gave a scenario and asked the class if it was lying or puffery. I answered that it was lying, but most of the class disagreed with me. Then the professor thought about it and said, "Actually...it is lying. Nathan, can you tell us why?" I said, "Well, it's not true, and you said it."

Lawyers don't always think in such simple terms.

Negotiation

You might think that, being raised by the famed Cheryl Reeve, I would be an expert negotiator. You would be wrong. I've learned a thing or two about negotiation over the years, but the most important thing I've learned is that I need improvement. My current strategies are: 1. give in quickly (while thinking "Maybe he'll appreciate this and help me out later." and 2. Hold my ground to the point of absurdity--like when I personalize the negotiation and don't want to give in on moral grounds or because I'm mad. Ideally, I could have some ability to assert myself in a reasonable way.

And why do I bring this up? I'm taking a class on negotiation. This class is like unto a weight training class. It isn't very fun for me, but it will be really good for me. Of course, I dropped out of my 9th grade weight training class, but there will be no dropping out this time, not with graduation so close. Have I mentioned that I'm in my LAST SEMESTER?!

Merinate was Tagged for Randomness and proof of Toquerville's Greatness

Random Things About Nate
by Nate Reeve

1. I wanted to get some direction for this project, so I looked up random in the dictionary.

2. I conclude that random, though it appears to modify "things about yourself," is actually intended to describe the way in which said things are selected for inclusion. That is, the items on the list are to be selected with no definite aim, reason, or pattern.

3. I like the word nonetheless.

4. Lately, I have been declaring at random times to friends and family that I invented and/or made up various concepts, devices, and people. Adults have been very understanding of this latest symptom of my mental illness, but children have taken great delight in contradicting me.

5. I cook by whim and nose. The results vary.

6. I'm not sure, but I think my right leg is slightly shorter than my left. My best evidence for this is how my pants fit, which leads me to wonder if my hips are just uneven. Either way, I'm not exactly balanced.

7. I enjoy reading Lao-Tzu's Taoteching. The version I have comes with commentary by various other ancient and modern Chinese philosophers. One of them, Huang Yuan-Chi, provided me with my theme for law school: "The ancients said, 'Two or three years of hardship, ten thousand years of bliss.'"

8. I met Meridy in the class where I learned about the Taoteching.

9. I also have a soft spot in my heart for stars and planets because we had Astronomy together that same semester.

10. I just remembered. I may have done a randomness post in the past. Now I'm terribly curious to see whether I am repeating anything.

11. The previous post was about "quirks." I guess its a similar thing, this post being less structured. Mer now requests that I link our previous quirk-style points....which means I'll hand her the computer and let her link the posts.

12. But not yet, because I tend to procrastinate.

13. I have one attached and one unattached earlobe. So, is that the sort of thing that gets fixed in the resurrection? If so, which lobe will change? If not, can you imagine going through the eternities with mismatched earlobes? Weird.

14. I love to eat cereal. In fact, I'm eating cereal right now.

15. The words, "Fifteen men on a dead man's chest," keep running through my mind. I thought about it and decided you could do it easily enough, provided you didn't have to have all the men on the dead man's chest at the same time.

16. I wonder what is society's facination with piratas y vampiros. If anyone has any thoughts, let me know.

This is actually Meridy for a sec, starting....now.

We were tagged to do this random list Nate accomplished above, by our friend Annjilla. I love things like that, and I love learning interesting facts about other people (as you know). However, in order to spare many of you from reading yet another one of those all about me, I had decided to post one somewhat impressive random thing, and that was going to be the new Shoe Tree (see POST BELOW and for original shoetree post click here.) Obviously, Nate stole my thunder. (But I'm glad he listed 16 random things himself because he is so interesting.) What I did decide to do, for those who have not read them and/or are interested, is create a link list to my many posts devoted to my uniqueness.

If you want to read 100 things about me: click here.
If you want to read my first list of quirks: click here.

If you want to read my second list of quirks: click here.
If you want a personality readout that I developed myself from a personality test that I took and then posted: click here. (This is very informative and accurate, it may even help you get along with me at the optimum level. :))

But since we are on the topic of that lovely place named Toquerville, I have decided to post some pictures of how beautiful it really is, because I know that some of you (named Sheri) were not previously convinced of Toquerville's greatness.

Shoe Tree 2.0

Those who joined us in our sorrow at the loss of Toquerville's Shoe Tree will be happy to know that another miracle is taking place in Toquerville, where man's indomitable spirit is on display. A new shoe tree is springing up on the north side of Toquerville. You'll have to look closely because I couldn't remember how to zoom in with our camera, but there are shoes growing on that tree--in the dead of winter no less. They can destroy our tree, but not our spirit. The Shoe Tree's legacy lives on!

A shout out for Recipes!!!!! AND a Husband Tag

First of all I hope that you have all been having a Merry Christmas! We sure have. Once again I have camera troubles--I forgot to bring the cable to upload my pics onto the laptop. So you'll just have to hold your horses and wait for pictures. ;)

Second of all: We are starting an EASY recipe blog. The easier the better, although I will personally be adding a few that are "moderately easy"......eventually. One of my personal New Year's Resolutions is to get the family eating healthier. But that won't happen unless the meals are easy. :) I'm talking EASY--like "five to ten minutes and I'm all done recipes". Or even "five to ten minute prep and then I can walk away while it cooks" recipes. We will accept easy dessert recipes too, after all, what is life without dessert??? If you would like to glean from the blog feel free to do so! Click HERE. It is just getting started, and we need recipes! Please leave me a comment and let me know if you would like to contribute.

Third of all: Just a quick update on what the kids are doing. William started pretending that he was a cat, a cow, a horse, and a sheep today. He got down on his hands and knees and said the animal's sound. That was cute. :) I made some rice as part of dinner tonight (it was easy, tasty, and fast---Uncle Ben's). Ellie didn't like the rice, however. I offered her a bite and she said something like, "I don't want any. It's too expensive." I thought that was funny. She knows that expensive="not good". I also like how when I ask her if she likes an idea I have, such as, "Ellie let's eat and then we'll read a story. How would that be?" And she responds, "Perfect."

Last of all (but not least), Lori (Nate's cousin and our friend :) tagged me. So here goes:

Husband Tag:

1) Where did you meet? A better question would be: "Where didn't you meet?" I first saw Nate in our Eastern View, English class. I was looking over the class for "marriage material" and I saw Nate. Although I thought he was a farmer (because he was wearing plaid), he was the only one who fit the basic requirements for "marriage material" :). I saw him next in my astronomy class and I thought to myself, "Is that the same kid??" I thought that I would wait until English the next time to make sure it was him, and it was. Then I had this feeling that I should talk to him--it was actually a Spiritual feeling. And so I worked up the courage and did it. It turned out well. :) I always have felt pretty comfortable with Nate. Like he was a long lost old friend. Then I saw him in my ward family home evening group. This was really surprising because he didn't even go to our ward. He went home on weekends, but he lived in the same house as the guys in our FHE group. I think I said something to the effect of, "It's you again!" or "You're everywhere!" when I first saw him at FHE. Then for Astronomy we had a lab. I was hoping that Nate was taking the lab portion of the class also, and that he would carpool with me. I liked him, but I also get lost easily and I didn't want to be lost alone. :) I was relieved when I asked him and that he seemed fine with the idea. So to finally get to the point: We meet all over the place. I think Someone was trying to tell me something.

2)Our first date: Was lunch at Godfather's pizza. We had hung out a lot and my friend Sheri kept asking me, "When is he going to ask you on a DATE!?!?!" And so finally we went to one at Godfathers. We still love their buffet. :)

3)How long did you date before your were married? We "officially" dated for five to six months before Nate asked me to marry him the first time. (I thought I was ready for the question but I wasn't and he gave me more time :). Then we started looking at rings online a few months later. And he asked me again at the end of October I think. (I wasn't paying attention to time and place back then ;) Then we were married in March. We had known each other for over a year before we got married.

4)How long have you been hitched for? Five years on March 6, 2009.

5)Favorite feature: He has too many. I would have to say personality, although he is rather dashing....

6)Favorite quality: He is very kind and gentle.

7)His nickname for me: Mer.

8)His favorite color: RED.

9)His favorite sport: PING PONG. He LOVES ping pong. Basketball is a close second. Ah the time he devotes to those two things......

10)Who said I love you first: I'm pretty sure he did.

11)When and where was your first kiss: Under a flowering plum tree in front of the house he was living in, in Cedar. It was just beginning to blossom I think. Neither of us had been kissed, so it was interesting. :) We have only kissed each other.

12)Favorite couple thing to do: Go out to eat at interesting, but affordable places. Curled up together reading a book. Talking together. Playing parchisi.

13)Hidden talent: Some of you probably know this, but I'm sure some of you don't: Nate is really good at playing the guitar and writing his own music. I love to listen to him play the guitar---that should also be listed under question 12. Nate is also really good with kids. One of the best Sharing Times EVER was a puppet show put on by Nate.

14) His favorite music: INSTRUMENTAL GUITAR! His most favorite artist has been previously mentioned: Joe Satriani.

15) What I admire most about him: He is patient and loving. He always sees my positive traits. He has faith in my continuing growth.

16)His favorite pastimes: PING PONG, listening to music, fantasy basketball, playing basketball, and watching basketball. AND, of course, hanging out with me and the kids. :)

17)Will he read this. Yep. I'm sure I'll show him and look to see how he reacts. :)

18) I tag whoever has been itching to fill it out since reading my most intriguing answers. :D

Lawsuit

You know that Coldplay song, Viva la Vida? My favorite musician--Joe Satriani--is suing Coldplay for plagiarizing it. It's funny because most of you know Coldplay and have never heard of Joe Satriani. I've own pretty much everything in Satriani's catalogue, including the song in question If I Could Fly. I honestly don't think I had even heard the Coldplay song until I saw a youtube video accusing them of copying it.

Joe says he wants to preserve the integrity of his art, and protect something he holds dear. He tried every alternative to a lawsuit, but Coldplay didn't want to talk about it. After the lawsuit was filed, Coldplay decided to say something. Here is their public statement:
"With the greatest possible respect to Joe Satriani, we have now unfortunately found it necessary to respond publicly to his allegations. If there are any similarities between our two pieces of music, they are entirely coincidental, and just as surprising to us as to him. Joe Satriani is a great musician, but he did not write or have any influence on the song Viva La Vida. We respectfully ask him to accept our assurances of this and wish him well with all future endeavours. Coldplay."

I think the suit will either end in a settlement or Joe will win. The songs are just too similar. Joe is a musical mastermind. He would not have brought the suit if he didn't think he would win it. Did Coldplay really copy Joe's song? I don't know. Youtube is full of videos arguing the point back and forth.

Here's what's really weird. Earlier this year, some unknown band posted a video accusing Coldplay of stealing Viva la Vida from them. Their video immediately smelled like a hoax to me (don't ask me what a hoax smells like). It just seemed like that band was trying to get their moment of fame by pretending to have written a hit song. The court basically agreed with me as their suit was thrown out for a failure to prove their allegations. Anyway, here are some videos:

Music Theory Analysis
(Part Two)
Song Samples
A Lawyer and Musicologist Weigh In

Bedtime for Bozos

So, we were all pretty dang tired by the time we went to bed last night. Meridy was trying to put William to bed, but soon he wandered out of the room and came and said "hi" to me. Then he went and played with some toy. After a few minutes a tired, groggy Meridy came out and angrily plopped down on a chair next to me. "He didn't headbutt you. He was supposed to come headbutt you." Apparently Will had been headbutting her, so she told him to go headbutt Daddy. I guess he hasn't learned the word "headbutt" yet. Lucky for me.

Then I plopped down on the couch to read some scriptures. I was having a hard time keeping my head up and focusing on the words. When I finally managed to read a couple verses, this is what I was told, and yes, it came to me as direct instructions from heaven above:
I perceive that ye are weak, that ye cannot understand all my words which
I am commanded of the Father to speak unto you at this time.
Therefore, go ye unto your homes, and ponder upon the things which I have
said, and ask of the Father, in my name, that ye may understand, and prepare your
minds for the morrow, and I come unto you again.

"Look Kid, you can't handle this right now. Go to sleep and come back tomorrow."

What do Lincoln Hawk and I have in common?

Over the Top
This was the best video that came up when I typed in "finals" on youtube. Yah, it pretty much sums up how I feel now. I took my last final of the semester at 6:00 tonight. Who's up for some holidays?

Happy, Happy Brithday Ellie Dear!!

Today is Ellie's birthday (Dec 11). Nate has two finals today and was gone all day. So we had a birthday party for her on Tuesday.

I blew up most of a balloon package and had them hanging out on the floor. I let the kids play with those for awhile. Nate stuck half of them to the ceiling. Then we played Duck, Duck, Goose. Ellie was excited for that game but when we actually started playing, Ellie decided that she didn't like the chasing part of the game. She thought it was fun to watch everyone else run, but she didn't want to run herself.

Then we played Hide and Seek. Everyone loved that game. I hid behind the bathroom door and it took them forever to find me. I found this hilarious at the time.

Nate hid under our desk and all the kids found him at once.


Then we played this crazy game that Nate made up. We all sat in a row and covered our faces. Then when our feet were touched we revealed our silly face and got our picture taken.

After that we played that game were one person draws the head, folds it over to hide the drawing, and then passes it on to the next, person to draw the body. Then you pass it on again and the last person draws the legs and feet. Here are some of the results:


Then Ellie opened a present from Nate and I. We gave her a Cinderella and a Belle doll. They are small and have rubber dresses they dress up in. It was fun to give her a toy that I would have enjoyed as a child. (She opened presents from Abigail and Annjilla when they arrived, but we neglected to take pictures of it. Sorry! But thank you for your gifts! We will enjoy them. And Cheryl, thanks for the card you sent! Ellie is excited to get an Ariel doll to go with Cinderella and Belle with what you sent her. ;))


Ellie wanted a strawberry cake. "Oh great." I thought. "How am I going to do that?" I decided to make two white round cakes and to do a layer of frosting and strawberry jam in the middle and then frosting on the top of course. I made the same kind of cream cheese frosting I make for cinnamon rolls. Therefore it was a little bit runny so I stuck it in the freezer for a few minutes and then in the fridge. Ellie wanted one strawberry on top. She ended up liking all of the little strawberry slices that I put on top. It wasn't until after I made it that I realized, duh!, I made a strawberry shortcake. ;) I was glad that it turned out so well for a first attempt.

We've had a fun time! Thanks everyone!