"You mock my pain!" "Life IS pain, Highness. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something."

So I was eating my lunch, and needed something to read while doing so. I decided to once again attempt to read about hypno-birthing. It lasted about two minutes.... :)

{Now before I begin, on this little "discussion" about my hypno-birthing reading experience, please know that I am not against it or other forms of natural birthing. If it works for you, I am so happy for you. Please do it with my un-needed and/or un-asked for blessing. }

So why did it last for only two minutes? Well, I'll tell you. I made the mistake of once again beginning with its premise. Towards the beginning of the book, the author tells a little story (true story) about a doctor at the turn of the century in England. He worked in a hospital with educated women and he saw a lot of well to do women, come in to the hospital and give birth. It was a loud, painful experience for them. Then he went into the English slums to help a woman give birth without a sound except her steady breathing. She refused any kind of drug to help with pain. After the birth the doctor asked her how she did it. Wasn't it painful? And she told him that it didn't hurt. "Was it supposed to hurt doctor?" she asked him. Then later the doctor had a similar experience with another woman and he began to ask the question "Why?"

And I'm thinking, "Why!?! I'll tell you why! Because those women are incredibly LUCKY that's why!!! Something is wrong with the pain sensors in their uterine muscles, that's why!"

Of course I know what is coming on next....he is going to blame society's and medicine's unnatural attitudes about birth.

Now please let me state here that to a point I actually agree with him. I do believe that I personally make my own pain worse because of stress and fear. This is why I bought the book (for a $1.50 at a yard sale) in the first place. I want some pain management skills to help me get through the labor in a happier manner.

But today with a little help from The Princess Bride, I remembered why this whole thing upsets me so: They mock my pain. Or at least I feel that way. I feel that the are telling me that the pain I felt was unjustified. Well let me tell you. I felt pain. The biggest pain of my life. I didn't expect it to hurt as bad as it did. It did it all by itself. And you are trying to make it sound like it isn't a real thing. Do you think this makes me feel better? When you go through a painful experience, physical or emotional, do you want to hear someone tell you that so&so went through the same experience in a dignified and painless manner, and you should be able to also?? NO! You want some sympathy! And furthermore, nice MALE hypno-birthing enthusiast doctor, why don't YOU give birth sometime and tell me if it doesn't hurt.

Anyway, sorry. As I stated in the paragraph before I got away with myself, I REALLY do believe that if I could stay calmer it wouldn't hurt as bad as it has in the past. But I am NOT trying to say that it wouldn't hurt at all.

My friend Clair, who I admire, is a firm believer in natural home birth, not that it is exactly the same thing as "hypno-birthing", but it is still a natural attitude about birthing--that a woman's body is built to accomplish this task. I think it was a very smart decision for her to give birth that way. (I think it was a smart decision for pretty much all the people I know who have felt good about it and then done it.) But did she tell me that it was pain free? NO. It hurt her too. But it was worth it to her to give birth naturally at home, and she knew how to manage the pain.

I want a little realism like that here. One of my favorite stories about this, that I read in a magazine, goes like this. Some details I am fuzzy on now, but I will do my best. The story is about a woman (and her husband), and I think she was some sort of athlete, perhaps even a little famous. But the point is, that she and her husband were completely into hypno-birthing. They went to all the classes, they had her mind visualizations all set. Very prepared, they went to the hospital to do this hypno-birthing thing. Well it turns out that during the labor process, she felt what many women feel at this time in their lives: PAIN. Her helpful husband tried to help her visualize her favorite visualization, "the fawn in the forest." Well, I won't repeat what she said because she swore, but let's just say she chose to get the epidural. Now, I'm not promoting the epidural here. She said in the story, that next time, she might want to try hypno-birthing again and more power to her. All I am saying is that the pain is REAL. That's all. If you find a way to manage it, that works for you, go for it even if it is hypno-birthing. But don't try to tell me that my pain is ALL in my head.

Perhaps I need to go somewhere else to learn pain management skills......I don't think hypno-birthing and I are such a good combination. It's a shame though, because that book was really a good price.