Pickles

This post is not really about pickles. Lately, when I'm looking for a creative word to use, I eventually come up short with the word pickles. I don't know why I think of the word "pickles". Maybe it is just so fun to pronounce. Maybe my body secretly needs pickles. People say love is the answer, but maybe it is really "pickles". Elder Bednar did give a really good talk about pickles, once. So maybe it really is a sort of answer. Guess what? This post just turned into a post about pickles.

The truth is that I am really tired. Nate has been gone ALL day in Vegas and I miss him. And he saw a few friends that I am missing very much today. (And to everyone that he didn't see, he loves you too. I am missing ALL of my friends in/"from" Vegas. Especially today).

We had a great Christmas. Someday when I find my camera I will try to post pictures.

Ellie had a great birthday, and Will wishes it was his. My kids are playing pretty well together and sharing their new Christmas. Ellie is having fun at preschool. I was worried that since the Christmas break was so long, she might have some trouble adjusting, but she got right back into it without a glitch. Will loves to play outside lately, I think I keep him inside too much in the winter. My kids are cute, and of course I would say that.

I've been making shrink plastic jewelry which is fun but sometimes frustrating. I've been trying to clean up sometimes. ;) I still want to write some books. I had another interesting dream the other night. I hope it turns into a cool story. It was a pretty cool dream. But I think it has been hard for me to sit down and write my books because then I have to face the fact that I may not be able to actually write a good story, or that other people may not like it, or that I might get stumped, or all of the work it takes. But I'm going to keep it a goal because I think it is important to write these books for some reason. I'm trying not to worry and think in the worst case scenario--this is a personality thing that comes and goes for me. But when it hits it's just like breathing, and the air is somewhat toxic emotionally speaking. I've dealt with it most of my life. I hope someday to be free. I spent too much money on some boots and a pair of jeans. Actually jeans were a good price for what they were--Lucky Brand for only $22, but I didn't really need them. So I was feeling down about that. Then I remembered that my grandma gave me Christmas money that will totally cover it so now I feel a little better. I took another pair of jeans I own today, and made them two sizes smaller. They look pretty good on now. Sewing like that makes me feel powerful. I still like to drink eggnog after Christmas. It is delicious.

There's a little snapshot of how I feel tonight. (In a very tired state.)