Do you ever watch those tv specials about robber bloopers? The kind where a robber is trying to rob a convenience store and it turns out that there is a police officer in uniform trying to buy milk behind him. The unknowing robber is immediately arrested, and thinking to himself, "Shoot! I should have robbed the 7/11 next door!!!!!" Okay, well I made that scenario up, but you get the idea. I think those shows are funny and/or intriguing.
Well good luck trying to rob our house robbers, because by the time you figure out how to get in, the prize that awaits you will not be worth the effort. Let me explain. (No wait, it is too long. Let me sum up.)
For those of you who I have neglected, we have been living in a new house since March. We've enjoyed our time here in the house. We love our new ward. (I still miss the Legacy ward very much and we did enjoy the Hurricane 3rd Ward, but it is wonderful to come to such a good ward here.) Our living room looks like this:
The picture immediately above this text, showcases the prize aforementioned that the robber would receive. It is the only thing of marketable value we own: a very nice tv and dvd player. Everything else you see in the picture is either not marketable for large sums of money, is not currently owned by us, or if it was owned by us is not easily portable. I suppose the robber could try to steal the lighting, however, I think it mostly fits into two of the categories listed above, so we will discount it. I leave it up to you to decide what categories it fits into. ;) So, a nice tv and dvd player, but is it worth jail time? I leave you to decide this as well.
This is why the robbers cannot get in:
The dead bolt of the front door is stuck in the locked position and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to get it unbolted. If you come over to my house you will be waiting at the front step for some time. I might actually be grateful to the savvy robber who could untangle my little problem. I would consider giving him my dvd player for a reward...maybe. However, if I am to believe in the documentaries of robbing bloopers, most robbers are not that quick on the draw, if you know what I mean. (Please know I mean no disrespect to robbers and others of that culture.)
Now, please don't leave a bunch of comments about how having a front door in that state of affairs might actually make it easier for a robber to enter my house. Please don't leave any comments about how robbers never enter through a front door and probably would enter through the back door. (Actually my back door deadbolt was really sticky this morning too. I was lucky to be able to turn that one.) And please no comments about robbers breaking my windows to enter the house.
Frankly, it ruins the story.
3 years ago
